"Miss Independent"

According to Erik Erikson (the developmental psychologist), my girls are in the developmental stage of "autonomy vs shame and doubt". This stage is an explanation of their constant desire to "do it MYSELF!". They are building confidence, perseverance, and just plain strong will. 

It's clear after spending a short about of time with Bean and Bell that Mr. Erikson didn't just make this stuff up.

And yet... is this really a stage that ends at age 4?

I'm pretty sure that for most of my life I've spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to convince God that Kelly Clarkson's hit, "Miss Independent" should be my theme song.  God, most likely rolls his eyes at me and imagines a more appropriate song like, "Lean on Me" or "Can't Breathe without You". 

 

He's tried to correct my obsession with independence many times:

I knew all about babies and knew I could handle being a mom... so He gave me two. Ha! Now try to do it all by yourself, Miss Independent!

After Darin's death, I once again needed help. The support poured in and I was/am humbled by the caring friends, family, and body of Christ. Again, wouldn't ever make it on my own.

time passes

I start to feel like I'm doing well. I can do this "only parent" thing if I have to, I'm figuring it out. And on good days, I feel pretty darn proud of myself. So proud, I start singing my Kelly Clarkson theme song and forget, yet again, I am capable of nothing without Him. So, boom, I'm knocked out for two days feeling terribly sick and I can't take care of myself, let alone the girls. I have to rely on family. I have to recognize my own weakness, my own limits, my humanity. He teaches me, once again, to cling to Him and be grateful for those He has placed in my life to pick me up when I fall down.

And right now, I get it. I'm grateful for the lesson. But, realistically, He's going to to need to remind me again soon. 

 

Bean going potty this morning (by herself) while Bell listens to the story.